Hello Darkness My Old Friend

2 years and some change into motherhood, 3 years and some change into marriage, and 29 years and a lot of change into life on this planet I am finding myself asking the same old dark depressing questions as before.

Alas…time does not actually change ones perspective of life as I thought it would, though isn’t that beautiful in itself?

Maybe not, but still I have found myself writing notes to, well, myself, the past few weeks asking the same recurring series of questions. Do I have the answers? Of course not. Are these as close as I will ever get? I’m guessing so.

Drum roll please, for the exciting presentation of my utter misery and constant train of thought.

(lackluster desk drumming and raspberry blowing commences)

What is this all for??

Love and happiness while we are here, kindness to others, leaving it a cleaner and better place, no footprints, establishing a legacy of love.

What if it all is for nothing and this all disappears into oblivion??

Then it does, and that is not your choice or within your control. You are here experiencing this phase of existence, so make the most of it without answers.

Is religion the answer??

Maybe, maybe the divine creator has a plan for everything in time. Maybe that is also a coping mechanism for the randomness of existence.

Who made the universe/cells then??

Who did indeed?

2 Comments Add yours

  1. I ponder the very same questions all the time. And come up with pretty similar answers. So far I’ve only got to: It’s okay not to know what happens or why? Trust in the process – the Divine Mother Creator. (Yes, sadly I personified it.) Do something you love every day (for me it’s art). Be of service to others. And be a good/better father.

    1. dbreshears91 says:

      It is comforting knowing someone has similar feelings, here’s to trusting the process!

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