Dear Ben

I completely stole this idea from my best friend, biggest fan, and the biggest influence on my life.

I love you, dear friend.

If you want beautiful and heartbreaking writing, check her out.

Dear Ben.

The wedding is just under a month away.

Kris is going to wear a locket when he marries us, a locket with you inside.

I wish you were really going to be inside, that you were still going to help us say our ‘I dos’, help us usher in our new life.

I remember you said you were going to slick your hair back and braid your beard, I still laugh hearing you sarcastically say ‘I now pronounce you tweedle dee and tweedle dumb’. It wasn’t mean. It was you and it was full of love.

Every sarcastic thing you ever said was full of love.

God, that laugh. So infectious. So heartwarming.

Do you remember when we went to Ole Smoky and got drunk together at 10am sampling different moonshine?

What about when you taught me how to play Settlers of Catan? Star Wars? Canasta?

I am using your bow now, you know, the one we practiced without at Indian Foothills. I think we even taught you to play disc golf that day.

You were like a second dad to me, much more than an uncle. I just realized that my dad married your sister 19 years ago. That means you were in my life for 19 years. That was not long enough. Not even close.

I know that Grandma Janet misses you the most, her heart aches every day for you. And Grandpa Ed, he is so strong and so silent but also missing you more than anything. No one should ever have to lose a child, and my heart breaks for them.

You were so young.


You had so much love to keep giving.

And then one day, you didn’t wake up. That day the world caved in a bit. It lost some of its sparkle.


I miss you, Ben.

We are naming the newest addition to the family, you know, my sister’s 4th kid she gave up for adoption and dad is taking care of, ‘Little Ben’.

This still isn’t enough to honor you.

I love you, Ben.

I hope you have plenty of card games up in Heaven.

PS. Tell Great Grandma and Grandma Sue I love them, and I hope they are proud.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    very good and nothing is the same

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